Without you
by MaesLawliet
Summary: Post-Zanpakutou arc written before it actually ended. Rukia is lost without Sode no Shirayuki.


It took me about two hours or so to get all the ideas down. Set after the zanpakutō rebellion. It's inspired by the Rammstein song 'Ohne dich' which does actually mean 'without you'. (I loves me some German rock i does :P) Some of the lyrics are spread out into the fic with their English translations.

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**Without you**

_Ich werde in die Tannen gehen. (I'm going to go into the fir trees) _

_Dahin wo ich sie zuletzt gesehen. (There where I last saw her)_

The zanpakutō rebellion had ended. All the zanpakutō had come back to their senses and Muramasa had finally been defeated after a long battle. There were many injured but in the end, the zanpakutō were not able to kill any of the major members of the Soul Society. However, two spirits were lost during the fight. The first belonged to that fat guy from the 2nd division. No one could be bothered to remember his name as he wasn't particularly good at anything apart from eating. The second belonged to Rukia Kuchiki. Unlike the fat guy, people were actually concerned for the loss of her zanpakutō spirit. It was said that if a zanpakutō spirit was defeated by someone other than their master, it would never return.

Rukia stared at the blade that belonged to Sode no Shirayuki when she was materialized. When it was given to Rukia back at that time, it was broken in two. When she first saw it, she sensed no reiatsu from it and knew the sad truth of what happened to Sode no Shirayuki's spirit. She had been killed by someone else. Her inner world which was full of trees was empty. No one was there.

_Und der Wald er steht so schwarz und leer (and the forest it is so black and empty)_

_-_

_Auf den Ästen in den Gräben (On the branches, in the ditches)_

_ist es nun still und ohne Leben (it's now silent and without life)_

_-_

A large part of her soul had died that day even though she never saw the death of her zanpakutō. She had it repaired, hoping that it may bring her back. As she had expected though, nothing happened. Even Muramasa's defeat didn't bring her back. Rukia now thought that it was hopeless. She would never come back and she would never see her again. It was late at night so she thought it would be best if she got some rest. This too was hopeless. She found herself lying there, still awake, with her face covered by her tears.

_Ohne dich kann ich nicht sein (Without you I cannot be)_

'_The last time I saw her, I tried to kill us both'_ Rukia remembered. '_I set her free.'_ She knew that Mayuri Kurotsuchi had been researching throughout most of the rebellion but even he probably wouldn't be able to bring back what had died. _'What am I supposed to do without you?'_ She knew that she set her free but she didn't want her to die while she was free. She usually carried the sword around with her to try to fill the void but it wasn't the same. She then heard the door open and she sat up quickly.

'Kuchiki Rukia, Mayuri-sama wishes to see you.' It was Nemu Kurotsuchi, Mayuri's artificial daughter. 'Please accompany me to his laboratory' she said stoicly. Rukia got up and followed her. She still held Sode no Shirayuki's sword in her hands. The 12th division wasn't far away. 'Mayuri-sama, I have returned as you requested.'

'Excellent!' Mayuri clapped his hands. 'It seems you are capable of simple tasks after all.' He was always insulting his own creation for reasons no one could understand. Nemu always stood there and didn't respond to them. She turned and exited the room. 'You even brought that along with you. Marvellous!' he said as he noticed Rukia holding the sword.

'Kurotsuchi-taichō, why did you bring me here?' Rukia asked gloomily.

'I will get to that soon. Just bear with me for a while' he chuckled. 'Now, what is it that you would like most of all right now?' he asked curiously.

'To see Sode no Shirayuki again' she said quietly.

'I correctly predicted that myself, some time ago.' He clapped his hands again. 'After all that is the reason I brought you here.'

'What do you mean?' Rukia asked.

'Well, during our little rebellion, a live specimen was captured' he began. 'I conducted many experiments over and over to answer the many riddles that had occurred when this whole thing started. However, in my excitement, I killed that zanpakutō spirit which led to the discovery of the fact that they would not return if they were killed by another.' He walked down a few corridors with Rukia following. 'After regaining the spirit of my own zanpakutō, I began running some experiments again. And the result of this experiment was this!' He held his arms out, showing his pride over the machine in front of them.

'What is 'this'?' Rukia didn't know what this thing was but then again nobody but Kurotsuchi would know what it was.

'I was getting to that part you twit!' he yelled. 'Its use resurrected the zanpakutō I killed! Of course, since it was the first experiment there were some faults. The spirit died again later. But since then, I have made some adjustments. That spirit was beginning to bore me. It had no particularly good skills and I had gained all of its data already. So yours will hopefully provide new results.'

'This machine… can bring her back?' Rukia was gaining hope rapidly.

'I thought I just explained that' he frowned. 'I will not go into the details of the machine as only a genius, such as myself, can comprehend it. Now, place that sword on the table over there.' He pointed to the table. Rukia gently placed the sword on it. Kurotsuchi had gone into a small room that had a large window in it, allowing the people inside to see what was happening. She followed him in, where he then pulled a large lever on what looked like a control panel.

Some of the parts on the machine had electricity flowing around it which then appeared to shoot down at the sword. There was a blinding light and then there was the noise of the machine shutting down. When the light was clearing, the room had become much colder and there was a thin layer of ice around where the table was. Rukia tried to see through the light to see if what she thought had happened did actually happen.

'Is that-?' she began. All of the light cleared which revealed Sode no Shiayuki lying on the table. Her lower lip trembled and her eyes began to water.

'A truly marvellous set of results!' Kurotsuchi was inspecting some small pieces of paper that were coming out of the control panel. 'As you should know, my services are not free so you can expect further experiments in the near future which will involve-' he began. He stopped as Rukia ran out of the control room and into where the machine was. Sode no Shirayuki was beginning to sit up when she felt something clinging on to her waist. She looked down and saw Rukia with her arms around her, sobbing into the sash around her waist. She placed a hand on Rukia's head.

'You're not mad at me?' she asked softly. Rukia looked up so there eyes met. Rukia's eyes were full of happiness but her face showed sadness. Rukia shook her head.

'I was never mad at you' Rukia said through her tears. 'I just wanted to bring you back. None of what happened was your fault.' Rukia hugged her again not wanting to let go.

'I don't deserve to return to you.' Sode no Shirayuki tried to push her away. 'I became manipulated by his lies and tried to kill you. As I am not strong, you cannot become strong either. You don't need me. I will only hold you back.'

'I don't want anything else! I only want you beside me' Rukia sobbed. 'You didn't kill me. That's all that matters. I don't care if I don't get strong. The only one I want with me is you.' Rukia hugged her again. Sode no Shirayuki realised that there was no way to make her let go. All Rukia wanted was to see her again. She didn't care what happened before now. Rukia was the one who suffered the most despite the fact that Sode no Shirayuki was the one who was killed. 'I didn't know what to do without you' Rukia whispered.

_Mit dir stehen die Sekunden (With you, the seconds stand still)_

_Lohnen nicht ohne dich (They aren't worth it without you)

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Obviously, I don't know how this arc will end but I just wanted to make this fic and I am also aware that the whole rebellion was just something done by Muramasa to waste time.

Hope you enjoyed it!

-MaesLawliet-


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